PT today involved mostly myofascial work on my quadratus lumborum fascia to see if that wasn’t involved in both the pelvic floor and solar plexus issues. My QLs are super tight, especially on my left side, though they did some releasing as L worked on them. L was happy to hear of my progress with sex becoming more comfortable.
New homework: Get and use foam rollers to stretch my QLs and spine.
During sex last night, I was initially tight, and then my pelvic floor released out a couple minutes in. It’s never released during sex before. I’m pretty excited about this.
And I had a particular sexual experience last night that I hadn’t had since my traumatic weekend almost exactly four years ago. And it was good, and I am super happy about it.
I have really good people and continued healing. It is good.
I have new homework! Yay?
I’ve had a bundle of sensitive tissue at 12 o’clock, right under my urethra, at the vaginal opening. This is one of the newer developments over the years. It’s pressure sensitive instead of being raw like the other pain where I use the capsaicin.
L said there’s fascia there. I’ve been assigned the homework of labial stretching, which is exactly what it sounds like: I take hold of my labia on either side and pull gently to stretch them, and the fascia underneath. Five minute hold on a couple spots, on both the inner and outer labia, for another twenty minutes of homework.
On the plus side, after she did this and then went to work on it internally, I couldn’t feel it. So it may have released so well when she did that that it became non problematic. I’m hoping so. I’d asked her because J had released it with gentle direct pressure before, and I’m only occasionally successful in doing so myself. So perhaps this is a missing piece to that.
We did more abdominal myofascial work today, and didn’t hit any directly emotional spots. Last time, I felt fine when I left and then cried off and on for the next several days, so we’ll see what happens this time.
I asked L how to handle not being able to fit all the things in every day, and she said just to rotate them each day if I can’t do them all. I’d mostly been doing that, with a concentration on the dilator, so I’m glad I know how to proceed with that.
She didn’t feel my muscular tightness much at the opening when she went in, which was super encouraging.
So. Good progress, and labial pulling.
I’ve got PT tomorrow.
Last time it seemed to open up some things. Right now I feel calm, like a lot of that has settled down. So I’ve got some apprehension about my next appointment, because who know what it will actually bring up?
L said she’s had people cry and scream and all sorts of things before, which doesn’t surprise me. I wonder what we’ll hit tomorrow.
In the meantime, at least I’ve been more consistent so far this week with my dilator and Therawand, and I’ll do some more myofascial self work tonight.
1. Dilator for 30 minutes daily, two 30-minute sessions if I can find the time
2. Inner thigh stretches
3. Outer thing stretches
5. Myofascial self-release (5 minutes per spot)
6. Therawand on trigger points (5 minutes per spot)
7. Squatting regularly throughout the day to release the pelvic floor
This is actually a lot to try to fit into a day, and I am not generally successful in it. It feels really overwhelming. My work schedule is such that I’m away from home for over ten hours a day, and sometimes I want to have dinner with a friend, or a date, after work. Those are things that also keep me healthy in other ways than the specific ones I am addressing with PT and my pelvic floor, and I’m definitely not going to do my healing well without the support of the people I love, so those need to be priorities too. How do I fit this all in?
I’m on my myofascial ball right now, so at least that’s something. More time on the floor.
Things I haven’t been assigned but want to do for myself:
1. Daily yoga in the morning for 10-15 minutes
2. Daily mediatation (and this is, in one part, to change my relationship with my body and to increase my capacity for emotional self-regulation).
3. Cooking more at home.
4. Barefoot time outside in the woods to help with my alignment and body use.
5. The two alignment classes I have taken on as part of the “getting myself healthy” project.
6. Blogging, because clearly I have lots of things that I need to get out.
It’s no wonder I feel overwhelmed. I’d have to keep a pretty tight schedule to do all of these things. How do I work all of this?