Posts tagged ‘myofascial release’

More healing

PT today involved mostly myofascial work on my quadratus lumborum fascia to see if that wasn’t involved in both the pelvic floor and solar plexus issues. My QLs are super tight, especially on my left side, though they did some releasing as L worked on them. L was happy to hear of my progress with sex becoming more comfortable.

New homework: Get and use foam rollers to stretch my QLs and spine.

During sex last night, I was initially tight, and then my pelvic floor released out a couple minutes in. It’s never released during sex before. I’m pretty excited about this.

And I had a particular sexual experience last night that I hadn’t had since my traumatic weekend almost exactly four years ago. And it was good, and I am super happy about it.

I have really good people and continued healing. It is good.

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My new assignment

I have new homework! Yay?

I’ve had a bundle of sensitive tissue at 12 o’clock, right under my urethra, at the vaginal opening. This is one of the newer developments over the years. It’s pressure sensitive instead of being raw like the other pain where I use the capsaicin.

L said there’s fascia there. I’ve been assigned the homework of labial stretching, which is exactly what it sounds like: I take hold of my labia on either side and pull gently to stretch them, and the fascia underneath. Five minute hold on a couple spots, on both the inner and outer labia, for another twenty minutes of homework.

On the plus side, after she did this and then went to work on it internally, I couldn’t feel it. So it may have released so well when she did that that it became non problematic. I’m hoping so. I’d asked her because J had released it with gentle direct pressure before, and I’m only occasionally successful in doing so myself. So perhaps this is a missing piece to that.

We did more abdominal myofascial work today, and didn’t hit any directly emotional spots. Last time, I felt fine when I left and then cried off and on for the next several days, so we’ll see what happens this time.

I asked L how to handle not being able to fit all the things in every day, and she said just to rotate them each day if I can’t do them all. I’d mostly been doing that, with a concentration on the dilator, so I’m glad I know how to proceed with that.

She didn’t feel my muscular tightness much at the opening when she went in, which was super encouraging.

So. Good progress, and labial pulling.

The intensity of things I didn’t expect to find.

Having looked into some of the biomechanics and alignment information, I had started to get comfortable with the idea that maybe there wasn’t any real trauma involved in my pelvic floor dysfunction. That maybe I’ve just used my body in unfriendly ways, like we all do in American culture: the wrong shoes, wrong movements, frozen feet used to encapsulation in shoes and a complete lack of surface variation, sitting all day and sitting on my sacrum when I do sit instead of my sitz bones, etc. I felt like I could start to let go of the idea that there had to be trauma connected to all of this.

Two sessions ago, I saw J, the main PT I’ve been seeing. J does primarily intravaginal work on me, relaxing the too-tight muscles. She does some connective tissue work as well, mostly rolling on my abdomen. My last session with her two weeks ago, she did a lot of that; I’d developed quite a few sensitive spots, which ended up sore as she worked on them and after.

The next day, I woke up with abdominal pain and bloating. I wasn’t gassy, and it didn’t really feel like it was necessarily digestion related. I remembered how a week earlier, doing some alignment exercises with a friend, including psoas release, I’d woke up in the middle of the night with similar sensations that I’d assumed were digestive. After this experience, I realized they probably had more to do with the lymphatic tissue.

I saw my specialist the next day. He agreed that I would probably do well with additional myofascial release to get my abdominal area moving, and also suggested lymphatic drainage massage.

The week after, I saw L instead of J at the pelvic PT clinic. L is trained in myofascial release, which is where we focused. I’d seen her once before, when I was having deep pelvic pain after using my dilators and she’d released part of my psoas to resolve it (which worked; still some discomfort while using my dilator, but no real lingering pain afterwards since).

She hit one area on my right side, over my psoas, and I felt instantly teary. I wasn’t able to let go and cry, but the immediacy of the emotion as she hit that spot was striking to me.

I’ve been a mess this week: depressed, overwhelmed. Work and family issues have been at the forefront as well. Today, I’ve cried a bit off and on with my partner. I’ve been thinking about traumas I underwent at age fourteen and in college, how they connect to my family, how all of those things are being triggered now.

And here’s what I think I’m realizing: That this means it’s working. That perhaps L hit something that is releasing now, even if that release wasn’t immediate. Partner wants me to consider antidepressants, but I don’t want to medicate the emotions away. I feel like feeling them and processing through them will lead to more health in the long run, even if it makes it harder now, and I feel like medicating was part of how this happened in the first place.

I’m no longer convinced of the lack of trauma involved in my pelvic pain development, though.